Let’s talk about the B-word.

Yes, I mean bullying. Or, if you prefer, bullying behaviours.

People rarely say it out loud, and certainly not in writing, because it feels too emotive, too grievance-territory, too risky. In some contexts, raising the issue can be career-limiting.

There’s a sense that once the word is spoken, things escalate. Formal processes loom, nuance disappears and people start getting more than a little twitchy.

But let’s be honest. Bullying exists across the sector. I’ve seen it in many guises over three decades in HE, and I see it now with increasing frequency in conversations with clients, colleagues and friends. Not as an occasional outlier, but as a pattern that becomes more visible when pressure rises, and people feel threatened.  That has to be a concern for us all.

I’ve been on the receiving end of those behaviours – and I know few people who have not.  I’ve also, if I’m honest, failed to notice it happening to others when I should have. None of this sits comfortably as I reflect on this now with the benefit of hindsight and detachment.

Bullying and Women

Research from UCU shows that women in higher education report higher levels of workplace stress and bullying than men. My own experience and interactions over the years align with that.

Although we ought to note that much of what women describe in surveys and focus groups never makes it near a formal complaint because it’s so easily reframed and rationalised away. ‘Robust debate’. ‘High standards’. ‘That’s just how they are.’ Or the loathsome: ‘You need a thicker skin.’

Decision makers in the process tend to be risk-averse, which compounds the problem.  The perceived need to have definitive evidence often results in the process simply failing the victim.  I’ve seen relatively few cases where the evidence is water-tight – generally it’s a succession of low-level incidents sustained over long periods of time, each single moment not quite crossing ‘the line’ (who sets that line anyway?!).

I regularly work with women in senior roles who are dealing with behaviour that rarely meets the threshold for a grievance, but which steadily corrodes confidence, health and authority over time. Because it’s incremental and sustained. It’s extraordinarily hard to challenge.

Push back and you risk being labelled difficult, emotional, or ‘not quite leadership material’. Don’t push back and the behaviours continue at pace and your own self-recrimination becomes almost as painful as the bullying.

Is it getting worse?

My strong hunch – rooted in my own observations of these behaviours and their consequences – is that bullying intensifies as organisational pressure intensifies. Financial fragility, political scrutiny, technological upheaval and constant restructuring create an environment where fear and defensiveness flourish. People lack their normal patience. And power congeals in unexpected places, often without anyone quite noticing the shift.

How Does Bullying Manifest?

In most cases, bullying is subtle, progressive and quiet.  Not always.  We all have tales of the file being thrown across the room, fists thumped on the table, or public tirades.  But these are relatively few.

More commonly, it shows up in ways that are easy to dismiss in isolation but devastating in accumulation:

🔹 Unreasonable demands and impossible deadlines framed as urgency

🔹 Being talked over or dismissed in meetings where decisions are made

🔹 Sarcasm positioned as humour

🔹 Emails disproportionately critical and copied far wider than necessary

🔹 Eye-rolling, sighing, small gestures of hostility that can always be denied

🔹 Exclusion from conversations central to your role, followed by surprise when you haven’t delivered.

For more examples from LinkedIn commentators, check out Anne Wilson’s sobering blog – https://bit.ly/3ZBTaVJ

When bullying happens, it’s common – and perversely rational – to turn the blame inwards. You start wondering whether you’re being oversensitive, whether you’ve somehow brought this on yourself, and whether everyone else is coping better. Your inner critic steps forward and rewrites events in the harshest possible light.

What matters more than motive is impact. These bullying behaviours reliably produce fear, self-doubt and silence and at their worst, mental health deterioration and trauma.

They push capable leaders into defensive mode at precisely the moment when universities most need courage and challenge.

The organisational ripple effect

As noted above, in pressured institutions, this dynamic can accelerate quickly. Territorial skirmishes turn into turf wars. Information is hoarded rather than shared. Colleagues who once collaborated become guarded and transactional. And if you’re the person tasked with implementing difficult decisions or surfacing uncomfortable truths, you can become a convenient lightning rod for blame and negative attention.

Working in this environment is exhausting. And it’s isolating.

Because who do you tell? Your manager may be part of the problem. HR can feel like the nuclear option. And admitting it out loud risks being seen as a failure of resilience rather than a rational response to sustained pressure.

If you’re dealing with bullying behaviour

Know first that this is their failing, not yours.  Consciously rein in the urge to ‘do more, better’ or act in ways that feel wrong but seem to appease.  Instead:

· Document relentlessly. Dates, times, exact words, witnesses, context. Email yourself a contemporaneous note after each incident. This feels tedious and exhausting, but it’s essential if things escalate. Memory isn’t evidence; records are.  And the very process of documenting all of this can be bizarrely liberating as the dawning realisation that you are not imagining things starts to sink in.

· Find allies. Serious bullies rarely have just one target. Quietly, carefully, find out if others have experienced similar behaviour. There’s safety and credibility in numbers, and it shifts the narrative from ‘personality clash’ (i.e. victim blaming) to ‘pattern of behaviour.’  To be clear, this shouldn’t ever descend to gossip or character assassination in the corridor.  Preserve your own integrity in this process.

· Get external support. Union rep, coach, therapist, trusted mentor or HR expert outside the institution. You need someone who isn’t embedded in the politics and can help you think clearly. This external view is vital in enabling you to feel supported, empowered and in providing options that you may not have been alert to.

· Know your formal options, even if you choose not to use them. Understand your institution’s grievance process, dignity at work policy, and what the thresholds are. Check out the escalation routes thoroughly.

· Recognise when leaving is the right choice. This absolutely is not defeat and it is not ‘letting them win’. Sometimes the institution is too invested in protecting the bully and staying costs more than it’s worth. Protecting your health, career and reputation elsewhere can be the wisest move.  Only you can fully know if this is the route for you.

Institutionally

If you head these processes or play a role in decisions or adjudication, you will know that early intervention matters. And so does robust and swift action when bullying is entrenched.

Best practice from my perspective looks like this:

· Visible enforcement of existing policies. Most institutions have perfectly adequate dignity at work frameworks. The problem is often selective application.   I have seen high performers, fee-generating academics and powerful/popular staff protected while policies gather dust.  And properly, fully, risk assess.  Yes, that can include reputational impacts but that is a small part of a bigger risk assessment.  (Culture Shift have some excellent models for this.  I’m not on commission!)

· Stop the “managed move.” Shuffling a known bully into a different department or faculty is never the right move – just exports the problem. It signals that behaviour has no real consequences and leaves a trail of damaged people behind.  And people quietly observe those signals and act accordingly.

· Take informal and anonymous complaints seriously. By the time someone raises a formal grievance, they’ve usually exhausted every other option. If multiple informal and/or anonymous concerns have been raised about the same person, that’s a pattern requiring investigation.

· Hold senior staff to the same standard. Bullying often flows downward. If a Pro-Vice-Chancellor or Director behaves this way, others may follow their lead.   The institution’s credibility depends on early, visible and proportionate action.

· Exit persistent bullies through due process, not pay-offs. This is the hardest step and the one institutions most often avoid. But some people will not change, and keeping them simply signals that behaviour is tolerated. The cost of inaction – in staff motivation, turnover, sickness, reputation, tribunal risk – almost always exceeds the cost of a managed exit.

What Gets in the Way?

Let’s be frank about the power dynamics at play.

Some bullies are protected because they bring in money. Research income, student recruitment, and commercial partnerships – these carry weight. An academic who generates millions in grants may be quietly deemed ‘too valuable to lose,’ regardless of how many staff they’ve driven out or damaged.

Some are protected because they hold political capital. They sit on the right committees, have the ear of the Vice-Chancellor, or know where institutional bodies are buried. Challenging them risks destabilising delicate power structures.

Some are protected because confronting them is simply too difficult. Employment law feels risky, the process feels endless, and the evidence can seem flimsy. The bully is articulate, well-connected, and will fight back hard. It’s easier to wait for retirement or hope the problem moves on.  Spoiler alert – it won’t.

And some institutions choose reputation management over genuine action. The priority becomes containing the story rather than addressing the behaviour. Confidentiality becomes a shield – not for the complainant, but for the institution.

The result? Staff learn that raising concerns is futile. They leave, or they stay silent. The bully remains. And the cycle continues.

The hard truth

Sometimes, despite everything, the bully wins. HR processes re-traumatise rather than resolve. Institutions close ranks. And the person who spoke up finds themselves managed out while the bully collects their long-service award.

That’s a systemic failure, not a personal one. And naming it matters, because pretending otherwise leaves people blaming themselves for problems they didn’t create and can’t solve alone.

But there are glimmers

I’ve seen many universities – and individual leaders within them – interrupt these patterns and get on the front foot with bullying behaviours. Sometimes through early intervention: naming behaviour before it calcifies, paying attention to who’s being silenced, protecting space to think.  Creating a culture of psychological safety can systemically root out bad behaviours.

I’ve seen institutions finally act on long-standing complaints when new leadership arrived with fresh eyes and clear heads. I’ve seen governing bodies ask the difficult questions and not let them drop. I’ve seen courageous HR professionals push back against pressure to make problems disappear quietly.

It takes courage on all parts – quiet, sustained courage. The courage to notice what’s happening, to intervene when it’s uncomfortable, and to resist the slow normalisation of behaviour that diminishes people and, ultimately, institutional capacity.  And the courage to place their own interests at risk in service of justice and fairness.  I’ve seen this at play, and my admiration for those people is boundless.

And so none of this is easy. But it is possible.

Universities are full of thoughtful, principled people who care deeply about fairness and learning. When those values are actively lived, rather than laminated or loaded as wallpaper, bullying loses its cover.

That’s the glimmer. And it matters more now than ever.

Has this resonated? I’d be interested to hear how you’ve navigated – or witnessed – this in your own institution.

🔸 🔸 🔸

I work with female leaders in HE to help them feel in control so they can thrive in their careers and lead with confidence and impact.

DM me if you’d like to chat.